Tamie Fennell (see name tag!) is foundational to our amazing club's success. She is the past president of the club and a past governor of the district. At Thursday's noon meeting she was presented with “The Rock” for exemplary service. This award has now come full circle as Tamie created the award some years back and now it has returned to her to be in Roxborough where it had lounged, submerged, and occasionally rolled for the past 298 million years. As one of the previous foster-caregivers for The Rock, I want to pass along some tips for Tamie that she might not have considered.
Congrats Tamie on adopting, awarding, and then re-receiving one of nature's most dependable companions. The Rock has already completed years of intensive training and is ready to again become a loyal member of your household.
Feeding
No food is required. The Rock has mastered the art of self-sufficiency. It has not missed a meal in approximately 300 million years.
Exercise
Exercise is optional. If you wish to take The Rock for a walk with the Greyhounds, simply carry it with you. It will appreciate the scenery without wandering off.
Grooming
A quick rinse or a gentle dusting is sufficient. The Rock is proud of its natural appearance and does not require expensive spa treatments.
Obedience Training
The Rock knows several commands:
- Stay: Perfect every time.
- Sit: Instant.
- Play Dead: Masterfully portrays lifelike afterlife.
- Come: Progress may be slow on this one, and may require an assist from Kurt.
Health
The Rock is remarkably healthy. It sheds no hair, makes no noise, and has never been known to chew the furniture.
Personality
Some of the former awardees, myself included, believe The Rock has a unique personality. Others insist it has a great sense of humor. Your experience may depend on your imagination and possibly the strength of your chosen libations.
Thank you Tamie, for all you do and for giving The Rock a loving foster home. With proper care—which is almost none at all—it should remain your faithful companion until you award it to our next amazing winner.
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